Old Wives Tales Gender Predictions May 30, 2013

Nothing annoys me more than people claiming they have a "sense" about an unborn child's gender. Like the heavens opened their mystical powers and bestowed upon them a completely worthless gift.

My mother claims to have this gift. She correctly predicted the gender of my daughter, but this time around claims that the divine force field is a little fuzzy. My darling sister-in-law also claims this gift and she was right about Ellis too. She also guessed the birth date, weight and baby name and was scarily close on all of those. This time around, she is casting her lots for another girl. Also, when I was pregnant with Ellis a woman accosted me in the grocery store and told me she had "a gift" and claimed I was having a boy. I think the only gift she had was being creepy. But all in all, if we are being realistic, each time you guess a child's gender you have a 50/50 chance of being correct, which means, it's easy to be right.

And me? What do I think? I have no idea. Any inkling I have usually means I want bacon. And what gender do I want? Well, I want a brunette. I'm sick of being surrounded by blondes. So, I figured I'd try out some of those old wives tales about pregnancy to see if I can divine the gender of this child.

1. Carrying Low or High

This old wives tale holds if you are carrying your baby high, you are having a girl. If you carry low: It's a boy. I carried high with Ellis and I'm carrying so low with this baby I'm pretty sure s/he is going to walk out.

Verdict: Boy

2. Chinese Gender Chart

The Chinese Gender chart uses the month of conception and your age at conception to come up with the gender of your child. I did this with Ellis and the chart was correct: Girl. This time the chart again says: Girl. I think. Actually the conception could have happened in October or November (too much information? I'm sorry). So, if October we are supposed to have a boy, if it was November we are having a girl.

Verdict: Inconclusive

3. Your Beauty

This myth holds if you lost your beauty - pimples, swelling, splotchy face - during your pregnancy, you are having a girl. If you keep your beauty, you are having a boy. I find this old wives tale offensive because of what it implies about the mother-daughter relationship. But beyond the implications of what this test says about our society, so far it's held true for me. When I was pregnant with Ellis I lost what little beauty I had. This time, I'm all clear skin and glowy. But I wonder if that's because all the Sonics in town are closed and I haven't been able to gorge on Sonic burgers.

Verdict: Boy

4. Ring Swing

Put your wedding ring on a chain and hold it over your hand. If the ring swings: Girl. If the ring circles: Boy. For this test, I put my wedding ring on a necklace chain and held it over my hand. It swung. I also read you should try this over your stomach. I did that with the same result.

Verdict: Boy

5. Drano Test

You guys, non-science doesn't make sense. So for this old wives tale, you are supposed to pee in a cup with Drano and if the liquid turns green you are having a girl. Blue for boy. But I'm not getting my lady bits anywhere near Drano and I don't recommend you do either. Parenting.com recommends a safer version of this test with baking soda. If the mixture fizzes, you are having a boy. No fizz? Girl. I got the fizz. Also, I just peed in a cup with baking soda. Gross.

Verdict: Boy

6. Heart Rate

If the heart rate of the baby is over 140, you are supposedly having a girl. Under 140: Boy. Both of my kids had fetal heart rates in the 150s. My mother-in-law believes in this old wives tale, but has it flip flopped: over 140 means boy, below means girl. But mostly, my mother-in-law thinks I'm having a boy.

Verdict: Girl

7. Cravings

Legend holds if you are craving sweets you are having a boy and salty means you are having a girl. During this pregnancy I've had intense cravings for queso, lemonade, cold cereal with milk and a turkey and rye sandwich, with mayo, a pickle and a dash of salt. Also, bacon. But I don't know if that's any different than any other day of my life.

Verdict: Girl

8. Sympathy Weight

If your husband gains sympathy weight, you are supposedly having a girl. Last time, we all gained a lot of weight. This time around, Dave's stayed trim as ever.

Verdict: Boy

9. Morning Sickness

If you are sick in your first trimester it's girl time. No sickness? Boy all the way. With Ellis I was so sick the whole time I petitioned Dave to let us name her Zofran. This time, besides coming down with bad stomach flu over Christmas, I've been 100 percent puke free.

Verdict: Boy

10. The Mayan Way

The internet tells me the Mayans used to predict gender based on the age of the mother and the year of conception. If both numbers were even or both were odd, then the child would be a girl. If one is even and the other is odd: boy. Considering the Mayan's failed to predict the end of the world, I'm highly skeptical of this.

Verdict: Boy

The grand total is girl (2), boy (7) and inconclusive (1). Have any other gender predictors I should try?