What I've Learned.
December 22, 2016
As we say goodbye to this blog that has brought such a diverse group of mom voices together, I decided to share what I’ve learned as a mom so far. Of this diverse group of moms, I represent a voice of a working mom. I work full-time outside of my home and am a mom to two kiddos who are seventeen months apart. I’ve been a mom for a whole two and a half years so it’s safe to say I don’t have it all figured out. Even so, here’s what I know to be true…
We’re More Alike than Different.
Sure, you can fit me into a box based on my quick intro above. But, truth be told, I’m not very different than a stay at home mom with five littles. We all suffer many of the same battles and laugh at the crazy things our toddlers say. What binds us all together is the desire to make the best decisions for our families.
This parenting thing, it’s really hard! I literally have no idea what I’m doing. I make things up every. single. day. I’m simultaneously exhausted from never having enough hours in the day and bored by the monotony of it all. I pray I’m picking the right battles, setting boundaries and loving them enough to see them grow into emotionally stable, happy and successful adults.
Stay on Each Other’s Sides.
My husband was insistent that my daughter couldn’t draw with a pen tonight. It’s a fairly reasonable rule. The pen isn’t washable. She’s two. Accidents happen. But, if I’m honest, I would have let her color with the pen. Will Nora ever know this? Of course not. Above all else, I choose my husband’s side. We are partners and that means we stay on each other’s side even we disagree. The conversation about why we disagree can happen later. After the kids are snoozing. But, in front of them, I want them to know what it looks like to be a party of a supportive partnership.
I Could Have Used Six Months.
I don’t have the answer for this one, but I know we can do better with parental leave. I was lucky. I took around twelve weeks off after the birth of each of my children. But, truth be told, I could have used six months. And, six months is an arbitrary age that feels right to me. I have so much to say on this subject but I will sum it up by saying this; I could have been better for everyone. With a little more time at home following the birth of my children I could have been better for my children, husband, employer and self!
We Need Others.
We need each other. We need the mom who has been there and done that. We need the mom who is completely different than us, and the one who is quite similar. It truly takes a village. Whether we find our village though online communities such as this one or offline activities, we need to lean on each other. We need to put away our judgement and righteousness and be there for one another. Because, we’re all doing important jobs and we can’t do them alone!
Thank you to St. Luke’s for giving me the platform to talk with all of you through my many blogs. I have so loved this time to put my ramblings out into the world. I wish you all the coffee and wine necessary as we continue to navigate the ups and downs of parenthood.